My eldest sister has stated (in the distant past) that I liked movies and things related to War.
I was for a long-time unsure where she was coming from with this statement.
But now, I think she was right. I do have a unconscious attachment to all things War related.
But, importantly I understand that I am a person, an individual with diverse interests.
I don’t mean to be stereotypical about my own country or the land which nurtured me and my family. But being from Belfast, Northern Ireland, I must say that living on the Falls Road in West Belfast for the first four years of my life, during the Troubles, this undoubtedly engraved an impression on my interests.
For the record, one of my first memories, growing up, is that of a Red double decker Bus being hijacked and burnt at the bottom of my Street where I/we lived in the 1980’s. This is one of my main memories from my childhood living near the Falls Road, in Belfast.
So, you might say. What has that got to do with anything?
Well, it may seem like little to some, and even a consequence of the times and environment I was born into. But nevertheless, this experience still had an impact on my life; on that of my childhood and of my memories of those times even to this day.
I am a sensitive individual; I must admit I feel myself to be similar to others in that regard and I have done for the majority of my life. I would like others to believe (at least), that all these years on, I am a rounded individual. But I know this is not truly the case.
I feel myself worrying about potential danger more than I should like to. In certain areas of my life, I worry that major life changing events are about to happen to/around me. It is a precarious place to be emotionally, if not physically. But this I would argue was caused by my early childhood experiences, during the time conveniently known as the Troubles.
After all the things I have watched and the books I have read, I must say that I do believe we lived through a prolonged ‘War’, where i’m from.
It was not a war for some. But for me it was a war, a dirty war, just as psychologically horrifying as any others may have experienced. But, in the end what do I know. I was not in any army. But, importantly, it was just as affecting as if we were all targets of hate and terror.
Only through the absolute benefit of hindsight, I can surely say, I am lucky to be alive as a result of my life experiences and the formative factors in my life to this point.
Also, as others in more recent times have come to unfortunately experience the same and worse terror as we have here, in this country, I need to say that distance is a wonderful thing when it comes to terror and war.